It’s ok to realise that what you wanted is not what you wanted!

Being.

I love flowing.. expanding.. growing.. changing.. creating.. Going with the flow… The idea of trying or pushing against anything makes me shiver-possibly because I spent so much of my younger years doing just that. Man is it tiring!

Anyway… because I am so for flowing, I am really careful to only ever do things I get a good feel about.. If it doesn’t feel good to me, or fun… or I just plain don’t want to do it.. I don’t. Simple.

I was starting to wonder though, whether I needed to add some Action to my Being. Do I wait for things to come to me, or do I go get them?

I decided to sit with it.. (As I usually do!) I asked myself little questions, and instead of basing things on past experience and saying ‘why’ or trying to figure out the best way, I’d look at the future and imagine where I would love to see myself and say ‘Why not?’. In doing that I then found myself having these reoccurring ideas.. Like I would see myself singing in places, and talking to people in places.. When the ideas first came to me, I was kinda like, “Oh yeah, that’d be nice,” but didn’t really think of it any further than that. I kept seeing it however, and the more I thought about it the happier I felt until one day I was like, “You know what? I’m just going to go there and tell them I’d like to sing there!” I found myself really wanting to go! So I did!

It didn’t feel forced, it actually made me feel really empowered because I had selected places that were the best of the best for me. Places I would LOVE to sing! Not places I simply could sing. I picked the ones I really resonated with.

As I went to these places, I was fine-tuning what I really want. When I spoke to one, I felt happy and could see myself singing there… however, when I went to another place, my heart was jumping up and down saying, ‘Yes, yes, YES!!!’ I felt soooooo overjoyed from the moment I was walking up the front path to the building. So it was the comparison between my responses that helped me Know what I truly desired deep down.

I feel this is a massive key. In the past I think one of the HUGE things holding me back was the fear of disappointment. Whenever I got what I wanted, it may not have been what I thought it was going to be, and instead of having the mindset of “Oh well, how cool I am here and got what I want! Now I know even more clearly what I would like to create next time!” I was like, “Man, I worked SO hard to get here and sacrificed SO much, and now I don’t even like what I have! I am so ungrateful! I got what I want and I am still not happy!”

I feel that when we get to this stage, we tend to settle for what we find as it cost us so much to get it! Instead of seeing it as being another opportunity to fine-tune our desires and let go, we hold onto it and don’t trust that we could be ‘lucky’ enough to get something close to what we want again! Or, it may disappoint us again and that would be too much to bear!

So… what am I trying to say? Just go for it! Think, feel, imagine, create… When it shows up in your world, re-evaluate and then do the whole thing over.. If it’s not quite what you thought it would be, sweet! At least you’re getting closer to Knowing what you DO desire.

The best thing about it? You can never get it wrong. It’s just a matter of fine-tuning 🙂

 

 

 

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