I have been through some massive transformations in my lifetime.
As a young girl, I was extremely strict with myself. I was all about hard work and dedication, commitment and dead-lines. I would go to bed late and wake up early to an alarm. I was a perfectionist to the max and there was absolutely NO room for error in my eyes. I would work my mind and body into the ground, and would bend over backwards and every other way in attempt to make other people happy. I would put aside my own true passions and desires so much I could hardly even decipher what they were anymore.
As years went by, I got to a point where I was so incredibly sad and burnt out. I took a turn for the complete opposite. I would avoid social events of any kind, I would not agree to anything in advance. I felt afraid of commitment. I wouldn’t offer my assistance or creativity in any way out of fear that more would be demanded of me, and I refused to wake up to an alarm for anything. I was still perfectionistic, but instead of applying that to my dedication and things I desired to create, I would use it as an excuse to not even start. I didn’t want to be involved in anything where people would have even the slightest reason to expect anything of me.
As I unfolded I began to find to a middle ground.
A place where everything has it’s place, and where structure and flow walk hand in hand.
Life is flow AND commitment. Allowing AND taking action. Sometimes things feel easy, sometimes they feel tough. It’s not one or the other, it’s both.
Everything has it’s place.
My Brother Paul Schembri took this photo.. Magic. x