Ben and I went to a Halloween Party last night. I think it may be one of the first I have ever been to as I have always shared more of an affinity for the bright and light – i.e. fairies, angels etc.. hee, hee.. I am the kind of person who usually covers my eyes and ears at the sight of zombies..

So guess what I went as last night? A zombie.

A pirate zombie to be precise.

So as I sat down to zombify myself, I experienced some really strange feelings. It is a really weird thing to be making yourself disgusting on purpose. At first I got a little freaked out. To be someone who is usually so health conscious and full of life, here I was focusing on the opposite – how can I make myself look as dead and lifeless as possible? Then as I went to work applying the make-up, I watched myself slowly transform before my eyes.. pale skin, dark rings around the eyes, gaunt face.. Eek.. After a while though, I started to find it kind of therapeutic. Peaceful even. When you’re trying to look bad, pretty much anything goes. Imperfections are perfect, going outside of the lines is a must, messy wins out over neat.. It was kind of liberating.

I was actually enjoying the darkness.

I felt intrigued by this idea as recently I have been focused on being ok with all aspects of myself. All the voices in my head. The ones I like and the ones I don’t. The light and the dark. I used to push against the ones that weren’t saying what I wanted them to – now I see they are just trying to help too. They are on my side. Nothing is bad. They are simply different shades of light. The fact that I was ok with being a zombie seemed to fit the theme.

So in light of that.. hee, hee.. I would like to say Happy Halloween.

Embrace everything. Then make your choice 🙂

“Stars can’t shine without darkness.”