Money is something that almost everyone seeks to understand in their lives.
It is an earthly energy that supports almost everything we seek to do, be, and express in this life. While many of try to tell ourselves that it is not as important as other things like love, peace, joy, friendship, happiness, and all the other beautiful things there are in life, the truth is that it is important, and that is affects so much of our lives in so many ways.
I think what makes money especially big for us, is that we often feel measured by how much we have. If we don’t have certain financial markers deemed important by society, we feel we have failed and that we are incapable of doing what “normal” people do. Money also has the potential to allow a sense of freedom, and when we feel we don’t have enough, we become swamped by feelings of being trapped, limited, and being in a position of having nowhere to turn.
What I have discovered in my work over the years is that there is SO much more to money than money itself. Things we have experienced in our lives and the meaning we associate with these, form connections in our brain that can become incredibly rigid. If you believed you were bad with money as a teenager because of something someone said to you, that belief will craft your behaviour for the rest of your life unless you find a way to loosen and change it.
Things as simple as being underpaid when you got your first job, or being expected to sacrifice without being paid at all.. All these things affect your money relationship in your adult life.
In addition to this, there are also many things related that you may not even think about. For example, I recently had a client who was feeling sad about the fact that he was unable to create a profitable business. He said he had tried several times, and was at a stage of feeling like he was cursed. He felt that no-one would want to invest in him (both investors and customers) because his track record had suggested his ideas did not reap profitable returns. He said he had always given his ventures 100% commitment at first but that he would eventually lose hope because the businesses were not a financially viable venture and he would leave himself with nothing all over again.
Throughout the sessions, numerous memories and situations arose to suggest where these beliefs had come from. (Often there are a number of different ones all tied in together). An interesting belief however, was related to feeling as though he was a bad investment. During one of our sessions, he remembered being given some music lessons when he was in his teens. He said it was an instrument he wasn’t really interested in, but that he had begged his parents because he wanted to do something different to everyone else. His parents didn’t have much money and expressed this repeatedly despite agreeing to the lessons. He had a number of brothers also, and although they expressed interests in learning an instrument too, none of the others were allowed to have lessons because of the financial burden it had been to provide them for him.
The gentleman went on to share that because he wasn’t really interested in that particular instrument he didn’t practise or invest any time into learning or mastering the art. He didn’t do as well as he would have liked on his music exams and wasn’t proud of his achievement. He said he felt bad because he usually excelled at everything he did – this was very out of character for him. On top of this, his parents had bought him the instrument which had cost them several thousand dollars, and in the end, he didn’t even use it or find any joy in anything he had learnt.
Until the session he had never seen it like this. He felt like HE was a bad investment. That what he had wanted to do had been a complete waste of time and money and he also felt guilty knowing that if he had done something he really loved, he would have excelled and it would have been worth it. To add further to the guilt again, he also felt bad for using resources that may have been better invested in his brothers.
This one memory is a demonstration of how complex our thoughts, feelings, and memories can be around money. When we believe something about ourselves financially, we will go on to create this same scenario over and over again. There may be things we don’t even realise are affecting us! It is all to do with the experiences we have had and the MEANING we associate with it. For some there may be a simple solution, but for others, there is a little bit of detangling that needs to arise in order for us to move ahead.
If you are someone who feels a little tripped up by money, you are not alone. It is something related to the most basic of human needs and therefore it is understandably a big thing for many. The good news is that there are ways to let go of past programming and open up something new in future.
Take the time to be still when you find yourself feeling frustrated, limited, lacking, or pressured financially. What memories come up? Allow yourself to explore them gently. What kinds of feelings arise, what other perspectives might there be, and how can things be different from now? These are the kinds of questions I ask when speaking with my clients or dealing with my own challenges. If you want to add some extra power to the process, you can also add some gentle touch to your face, upper arms, and palms of your hands. The self-soothing touch stimulates delta waves in the brain to signal safety and allows for a de-linking of trauma in the brain.
Considering Christmas is often a time of increased financial investment, I thought it might be nice to make the most of the opportunity to explore such feelings related to money and clear the way for the most abundant feeling Christmas ever!
Please know that if you do begin the process and find yourself needing some support, I am available to work through some things with you. I’ve got your back!
Happy Holidays Beautiful People.