..at the very least, they will like you.

I am in Sydney at the moment for some intensive psychology training. New experiences, new people. Away from most of my usual and familiar comforts, and mostly really enjoyable!

As the time has gone on, however, I find myself feeling things that remind me of when I was a teenager. In particular, the feeling that who I am is not ok, that I somehow have to be more extroverted, more exuberant, more animated, more witty, less intelligent, less gentle, more sociable, louder.. and the list goes on.

Memories of people saying things like, “You know, you’d be really pretty if you smiled,” or “when I first met you, I didn’t like you,” or “you’re smart but your ugly,” are resurfacing as I put myself into a situation I haven’t really been for a while. (Probably deliberately because of how bad I had felt in the past!) To add to that, I am also noticing how uncomfortable I am eating with people I don’t know well, and to be honest, I didn’t realise I was still feeling this so strongly!

I know these feelings are all remnants of my younger years, the eating disorders I’ve had, the social anxiety I have felt, the depression.. and yet, they still evoke reactions now. As I notice them arise (and they must if they are going to move on), I have gently reminded myself that this is old stuff, that I am different now, and that I am me and that is all I ever need to be.

Still feeling a little shaky, I sent Ben a message saying, “How can I feel happy knowing that I am likable today?”

His response: “Let others see that you love who you are, and at the very least they will like you.”

I felt so moved by this as I know it to be true. Self-love is all we ever need to focus on. When we love ourselves, we will love others, and others will love us.

It may not always look and feel the way we think it should, but it will always be true. Love attracts love.

Let’s make today and day for loving us.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “..at the very least, they will like you.

  1. You know Sarah, you speak your truth which allows you to step in front and forward. Eventhough you felt like this you never let it control or overtake you. You kept going on, facing stuff and feeling it as hard and as painful as it was. I respect your strength even when you yourself did not know exactly what was happening. Of course you are allowed your pain but there is the otherside of that learning and periods, many of happiness as well. Life has ups and downs, age allows one difference, insight but there is nothing wrong with being authentic. Feel it all but do it anyway the soft landings revovles around those who love you in many forms and in many places. It is interesting to look back with the maturity only age can give, but always I love you beautiful girl you are sooooo fantastic always continue down your path feel it all with love, kindness, compassion, grief and most of all happpppinesss ❤️

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s