The word transition has been on my mind a lot the past two days. I finally realised that it is because I am actually in one.
I’ve gotta say, it hasn’t been very enjoyable for a large part of it. It’s that feeling of being not quite finished with the old, but not quite ready for the new. I WANT to be ready for the new stuff but for some reason I can feel myself still trying to adjust. It’s frustrating because I know the new stuff is precisely what I am desiring for the next stage of my life. I feel fat in my body (almost like I have a thick layer of goop all over me), un-beautiful, listless, scattered, wasteful of energy, low on energy, unfocused, self-absorbed.. like nothing quite fits right. Nothing quite feels right. I feel these glimmers of excitement (super excitement) as some really cool opportunities have come into my world like never before, but I also feel unable to embrace them fully because I am somehow being gooped down. Basically, it feels I am part grub, part butterfly and the only way is through. Eek!
So what does this look like? Well.. it’s sort of a mix.. what I’ve been tending to do is revert to old behaviours that only add to my crappiness while really wanting to enjoy the new at the same time. Eating poorly and in an imbalanced way (always a big challenge for me when I don’t feel so good), distracting myself, dismissing things I know make me feel great like singing playing my guitar, or yoga. Stuff like that. When we see these things it is tempting to think we are moving backwards, however, it occurred to me that I am actually moving forwards fast and the grubby part of me is trying to slow me down a bit as it makes it’s final transformation. Why? Because it’s a little bit scary and we are going to need a new level of energy where we are going. We are moving into unchartered territory. New heights. New adventures. New challenges to face and places to rise to. AND.. once we are there we can’t go back.
As you have probably gathered, I really love using analogies to make sense of what is happening within me. So when I realised I was in a transition phase I asked Ben what you need to do to make a good transition on BMX (that’s his thing!). I had a feeling it may shed some light on the situation and help me manoeuvre my way through. He was like, “Hmmm.. You gotta pump it!” When he said it a lightbulb went on for me! “Of course! I have been trying to slow myself down in preparation, but really, what I need to do is focus my energy and pump it! How am I going to make the jump if I go into it with the brakes on!?” Then he continued on and said, “The faster you’re willing to hit the transition, the higher you’re going to go.. But, you must be willing to practise!”
He really emphasised that last bit.. “..you must be willing to practise!” I feel that last part is key. Just like anything in life that is worth doing, transitioning is an art form.. it requires practise, and the more you do it, the better and more efficient you become at it! So don’t worry too much if you still see grubbiness here and there. You know where you are headed.. Butterfly territory! And guess what? Once you make the transition you won’t need to worry about falling because you’ll have wings! Yeah! The resistance is all part of it.. you need to have something to build your strength on so your wings are strong enough to lift you once you emerge from the chrysalis!
So, how do we make it through this transition time gracefully and with as little discomfort as possible? Be patient. Go gently. It’s ok if you revert to some not so energising behaviours. Notice them, love them, and perhaps make a choice in favour of good energy creation. For me this is as simple as drinking a big bottle of water or going to bed early. Don’t push against so much, open up in a forward moving way. Then allow this energy to build. You know what feels good for you 🙂 As you do these little things, the other things will begin to naturally fall away. Pretty soon you’ll be ready to pump right through and fly!