You are good and you are kind.
It is who you are.
Moments of trouble only make your goodness stronger.
You are good and you are kind.
It is who you are.
Moments of trouble only make your goodness stronger.
This is for the beautiful ones. The ones who feel into every crevice and corner of their own feelings and the feelings of those around them. This is for those who often feel so sad and alien in this world, and for those who wonder how everyone else seems to make it work but wonder why you can’t? This is for those who do feel moments of bliss and joy, but sometimes struggle to keep it going when exposed to the continuing pressures of life. This is for you, Beautiful One. You are a gift to this world.
The truth is that you are making this work so much more than you know. Would you curse someone who warned you that you were about to walk over the edge of a cliff, or that the food you were about to eat had been poisoned? It is out of love that we are warned. Your feelings are a way of loving yourself.
Our feelings guide us. The fact that you feel so much means that you are incredibly “in-tune” to your world and your own values. You know when you are in line with the best of yourself, and when you are not aligned; you feel it to extreme. There will be days where you try to dull these warnings down, of course, and that is ok. That is human. Be kind when you do this. You are not failing. You are living.
This is for you Beautiful One. To say thank you for existing. It is you who adds such kindness to my world, and who has comforted me when I have felt at my lowest. It is you who have picked up when I need a friend and when I need some time to myself, and who inspires me to continue with what I am truly passionate about despite what the world may be demanding. Thank you for feeling. Thank you for knowing. Thank you for loving even when you feel unloved. Thank you for giving even when you think you have nothing to give. Thank you for keeping your heart open even when it is hard and for shining your light even when you feel surrounded by darkness.
Thank you Beautiful One.
“Even when you are feeling low, you’re basking in a glow.”
This is a line from my song ‘Superstar’ and it is for you.
Thinking about Christmas this week, I’ve been pondering what it is that people truly need around this time of year? While the response to this would vary greatly depending on who you are, I think that there are a few common themes that come up for most.. Love, peace, a sense of connection, a feeling of kindness and giving, rest, spaciousness.. A time to be still with yourself, or in the company of others.
Thinking about this I wondered, “Is that what people are feeling?” A lot of people find themselves feeling stressed; pressured to get things done and at the same time feeling that what they are doing isn’t enough. People tend to hurry and move from place to place and not really rest at all. Even on Christmas Day many feel torn about where they “should” be and what they “should” be giving. Worrying what people are thinking and whether they have given enough in whatever way. We love the idea of peace and joy on Christmas, but a lot of the time there seems to be these other things that “get in the way” of this happening. The reason I thought about this is because something happened for me personally that got me thinking about the way we tell our brains that we Love/Hate Christmas.
Thinking about this from a psychological level (as I love to do!), I realised something! Although many of use do enjoy Christmas, there are also parts of it that our brain thinks that we hate. We may be thinking, “I want to see my family this year,” but at the same time, “Oh, but I hate driving on Christmas and there is always so much traffic,” or “I love buying gifts for people,” but, “I really don’t have the money,” We keep giving our brains mixed messages!
Something interesting about the brain is that it moves in the direction it thinks you want it to go. If you say, “I love buying gifts for people,” it thinks, “Ok cool, operation buying gifts..” and will start moving you in that direction. If you then add, “Oh, but I don’t have the money,” it will stop and start resisting the urge to buy things.. SO here is where the stress kicks in. You want to buy gifts, but at the same time you don’t want to spend money. You see a perfect gift for someone, “Oh, that’s perfect for …..,” but then immediately feel stressed as your brain kicks in saying, “You don’t want to spend money.” Immediately you have blocked the flow of energy and stress builds. Indecision and incongruence (things mismatching within yourself) are known to be the greatest cause of stress to human beings!
The craziest thing about this too, is that it is often happening without us even realising AND with many things all at the same time.
So.. we need to find a way to find harmony or a sense of congruency within ourselves. It is congruency within that leads to those feelings of love, peace, connection, and stillness – most of things we desire especially during the Christmas season. As we go about the festivities, we need to make decisions we feel good about – decisions that satisfy both opposing forces. Consider the thoughts as they come. Is it true that you love buying gifts for people? Yes. (Or no.. whatever it is). Maybe you actually prefer to make something with what you already have. Or prepare a dish. Or write a note.. Or simply be present as your gift. If that is so, then you have immediately created congruency because you don’t want to spend money and you no longer need to.
If the answer is yes to buying the gifts, then continue. Is it true that you don’t have the money or don’t want to spend it? Yes. (Or whatever your answer is). Ok, well is there an amount you are happy to spend? Is there a way you could buy less expensive gifts so that you can give gifts AND not spend so much money? Or just buy for certain people this year? Now I know other things come into play here, for example wanting to buy people specific things that are expensive and so on, but I think you get what I am saying. What you need to ask yourself, is how can YOU be happy with whatever decisions you make? If you force yourself to do things you don’t want to at Christmas, you will end up hating it – and perhaps end up avoiding it altogether. The thing about that though, is that if you really want to love it but don’t because of everything else attached, you will still be in a Love/Hate Christmas position.
The gift here is to yourself. Ask yourself what YOU feel about Christmas. What does it mean to you – does it actually even mean anything? What is important to you at this time of year? Then take note of the Love/Hate thoughts happening as you go about your days. Find a way to bring a sense of peace to both sides as they arise. Be gentle. No forcing. Gentleness draws closer, forcing pushes away.
Also, remember that this kind of thing is happening for everyone. If people seem to be giving mixed messages, it is probably because they have their own inner war going on. Be kind. Cut them some slack. We all just want to feel good and give freely what we feel safe and happy to give. No matter who we are and whether we celebrate Christmas or not.
If you find yourself getting stuck and needing an outside perspective, feel free to contact me! I love helping people to find ways to bring peace to both sides of the story. You will be amazed at how much lighter you feel when you start putting this idea into practise.
Happy Holidays Beautiful People xxx
Money is something that almost everyone seeks to understand in their lives.
It is an earthly energy that supports almost everything we seek to do, be, and express in this life. While many of try to tell ourselves that it is not as important as other things like love, peace, joy, friendship, happiness, and all the other beautiful things there are in life, the truth is that it is important, and that is affects so much of our lives in so many ways.
I think what makes money especially big for us, is that we often feel measured by how much we have. If we don’t have certain financial markers deemed important by society, we feel we have failed and that we are incapable of doing what “normal” people do. Money also has the potential to allow a sense of freedom, and when we feel we don’t have enough, we become swamped by feelings of being trapped, limited, and being in a position of having nowhere to turn.
What I have discovered in my work over the years is that there is SO much more to money than money itself. Things we have experienced in our lives and the meaning we associate with these, form connections in our brain that can become incredibly rigid. If you believed you were bad with money as a teenager because of something someone said to you, that belief will craft your behaviour for the rest of your life unless you find a way to loosen and change it.
Things as simple as being underpaid when you got your first job, or being expected to sacrifice without being paid at all.. All these things affect your money relationship in your adult life.
In addition to this, there are also many things related that you may not even think about. For example, I recently had a client who was feeling sad about the fact that he was unable to create a profitable business. He said he had tried several times, and was at a stage of feeling like he was cursed. He felt that no-one would want to invest in him (both investors and customers) because his track record had suggested his ideas did not reap profitable returns. He said he had always given his ventures 100% commitment at first but that he would eventually lose hope because the businesses were not a financially viable venture and he would leave himself with nothing all over again.
Throughout the sessions, numerous memories and situations arose to suggest where these beliefs had come from. (Often there are a number of different ones all tied in together). An interesting belief however, was related to feeling as though he was a bad investment. During one of our sessions, he remembered being given some music lessons when he was in his teens. He said it was an instrument he wasn’t really interested in, but that he had begged his parents because he wanted to do something different to everyone else. His parents didn’t have much money and expressed this repeatedly despite agreeing to the lessons. He had a number of brothers also, and although they expressed interests in learning an instrument too, none of the others were allowed to have lessons because of the financial burden it had been to provide them for him.
The gentleman went on to share that because he wasn’t really interested in that particular instrument he didn’t practise or invest any time into learning or mastering the art. He didn’t do as well as he would have liked on his music exams and wasn’t proud of his achievement. He said he felt bad because he usually excelled at everything he did – this was very out of character for him. On top of this, his parents had bought him the instrument which had cost them several thousand dollars, and in the end, he didn’t even use it or find any joy in anything he had learnt.
Until the session he had never seen it like this. He felt like HE was a bad investment. That what he had wanted to do had been a complete waste of time and money and he also felt guilty knowing that if he had done something he really loved, he would have excelled and it would have been worth it. To add further to the guilt again, he also felt bad for using resources that may have been better invested in his brothers.
This one memory is a demonstration of how complex our thoughts, feelings, and memories can be around money. When we believe something about ourselves financially, we will go on to create this same scenario over and over again. There may be things we don’t even realise are affecting us! It is all to do with the experiences we have had and the MEANING we associate with it. For some there may be a simple solution, but for others, there is a little bit of detangling that needs to arise in order for us to move ahead.
If you are someone who feels a little tripped up by money, you are not alone. It is something related to the most basic of human needs and therefore it is understandably a big thing for many. The good news is that there are ways to let go of past programming and open up something new in future.
Take the time to be still when you find yourself feeling frustrated, limited, lacking, or pressured financially. What memories come up? Allow yourself to explore them gently. What kinds of feelings arise, what other perspectives might there be, and how can things be different from now? These are the kinds of questions I ask when speaking with my clients or dealing with my own challenges. If you want to add some extra power to the process, you can also add some gentle touch to your face, upper arms, and palms of your hands. The self-soothing touch stimulates delta waves in the brain to signal safety and allows for a de-linking of trauma in the brain.
Considering Christmas is often a time of increased financial investment, I thought it might be nice to make the most of the opportunity to explore such feelings related to money and clear the way for the most abundant feeling Christmas ever!
Please know that if you do begin the process and find yourself needing some support, I am available to work through some things with you. I’ve got your back!
Happy Holidays Beautiful People.
A beautiful friend of mine shared this with me this morning.
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save, they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott
This really speaks to me. I have often had a similar analogy for my own life. Life is like a garden. We plant seeds, we nurture them, pull the weeds out as they come, and allow to sun and rain to do their thing. When the time is right, the seeds will spout, the fruit will grow, and you will enjoy the aromas and deliciousness of your creations. The beauty will also begin to attract other creatures.. like butterflies! It is not our job to go out and catch them, all we need to do is create the most beautiful garden we can, and enjoy it. Find our place and shine 🙂
Sometimes it can be disheartening when you invest so much into your garden and just want to share it. You have planted, watered, and nurtured your plants and you just so much want other people to enjoy it too! Or, you invest so much and nothing grows. I think sometimes we feel tempted to get our nets out, not because we want to take anything captive, but more because we want so much to share what we have created! And to feel that what we have created is worth sharing.
I have felt like this many times in my life but always knew it wasn’t about the butterflies, it was about the garden. It will take time, there will be things that don’t work, plants that don’t grow, weather that will be out of your control, and weeds that will continue to grow back. There will also be people and creatures that just don’t like the plants that you grown. Let them go for there are SO many that will! Make space for those that LOVE what you do, LOVE who you are, and are just itching with excitement to share of your finest creations! The thing is too, anything you have to catch will always want to find freedom again. It won’t last. They won’t stay. Butterflies don’t quite have the same effect when they are contained by nets 😉 Things that come freely will last forever.
“Build it and they will come.”
If you are persistent, if you keep fine-tuning your skills and paying attention to what works for you, you WILL create magic and there will be more than enough to share with all of those who delight in who you are. No-one else’s garden will be exactly like yours!
You don’t need to go running around the island. Pick your spot, set your mark, and shine, shine, shine.
The butterflies will come.
There is something in the air today. It feels like change, growth, and expansion are upon us. I feel a part of me wanting to do more, but at the same time, I know that it is time to let the seeds I have planted do their thing.
To me it feels as though it is time to enjoy what we have invested, the fruits of our labour. All the seeds are sprouting in their own perfect timing. The sails are set and the wind is here propelling us in the direction we desire to go.
It feels strange in a way, “Can it really be this easy?”
It isn’t easy in that we haven’t needed to exert any effort, it is easy because all is happening in its perfect time , and right now, it is time to bask in the feeling of knowing that all is unfolding beautifully.
Some doubts may sprout, but we see them when they are small and can gently pull them from around our precious plants. Easy does it. One by one we gently ease them out and create spaciousness and life again. Even if we feel tired, a little spent, (or a lot), it is ok. There is no demand right now. One by one we pull these little doubts out.
I can feel it in the air today. A sweet zephyr. Our time is now. Enjoy all that you have created for you are beautiful in this moment. xxx
Today is the 1st of December. A perfect day to start anew.
It has been quite a while since I have added any new posts. I feel as though my energy has been intensely focused on a kind of transformation in myself. Like I required every ounce of focus to become ready for this next chapter of life. After a period of drawing inwards, however, I feel as though I am now ready for a time of giving outwardly again. Thus, my post!
The thing I feel at the moment is that many people are going through an intense time of change and shifting. It’s like we know where we need to go, but there is a big leap of faith required to fully let go. The ways we were working with before are now not feeling so good, so we can either try to stay where we are (which is really uncomfortable anyway), or choose to move in the new direction that is calling us. This however, is rather scary at times because it is not fully known. It is new. A new day. A new way.
You are not alone. It IS scary! What if it doesn’t work? What if I look like a fool for trying something new? What if I offer my gifts to the world and they reject me?
The thing is though, what if you DON’T do this? What if you don’t follow the call? What if your gifts stay hidden in your heart? What then? We will slowly die. We squash the energy in all kinds of ways (food, drinking, work, exercise.. whatever), and then feel less and less inspired in life. We lose interest. We feel sad. We wake up with a sense of dread and feelings of hopelessness..
I heard something yesterday that really spoke to me, “You gotta do whatever you can’t not do.”
That really resonated with me. I know that is how I feel right now. The time has come where I can no longer not do what I know I am meant to.
The best way is to take one tiny step in that direction at a time and see what lights up. Even if you don’t know everything, you will know something. One thing. Start with that.
You have everything you need to know right now. Take one step. Light up the next one. Only you can do this thing you know you can’t not do. Whatever it is. Follow your heart. I believe in you.
Happy 1st December Beautiful People. xxx
So, this is my first post for 2017.
Much has happened since last I posted. I have thought about writing again over the past few months, but then for some reason I keep chickening out.
A friend of mine sent this to me a little while ago. I think it is the perfect representation of what I have been feeling and experiencing for the past 12 months. I feel as though I have been under a rock, almost hidden from the world. It’s not a bad thing though. Like this video shows, I just need to find some protection from the harshness of the world while I rebuilt my shell. A stronger shell than the last one I had 🙂
I felt relieved when I saw this. I felt like it was ok. It was ok to seek shelter. It was ok to hide. In fact, it was precisely what was needed. I am almost ready to re-emerge. Almost 😉
Saturday 17th January:
Sarah: “Hey Pete, do you believe in life after death – that there is something else after we move on from here?”
Pete: “Uh. I don’t know. But I’m not taking any chances in case this is all there is.”
Haha.. Pete always knows how to inspire a laugh from me 🙂
He’s right though. Why not live this life like it’s the only one we have? We’ve got nothing to lose 🙂 Either way we win.
Any chance we have to touch another person in a way that shows care is a moment worth investing in.
Pete should know. He is a Master at it 😉 Thanks for being awesome Mr Pete x
I saw this on the back of the truck the other day and it made me smile.
“When it fits right, it fits forever.”